Sunday, July 29, 2012


Soooo... just wanted to give a quick update on my weight loss progress. I'm weighing 183lbs and if I can just lose 2 more pounds from here until the end of July it would be ten pounds total for the month of July. I'm so proud of myself. I know I can lose at least another 10 lbs in the month of August. Specially that I plan to do more exercise and to kill two birds with one shot I will be walking with my niece and nephew. That way I can exercise and spend more time with both of them before I leave Tampa. The only bad news of late is that my juicer broke the motor went crazy. But I still have my blender and I can work with that for now. I'm so excited about my life now, looking forward to new great experiences. Speaking of experience s I had a date the other day, just a practice run but I'm looking forward to many more.  ; - )

Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

~Hans Christian Andersen

Sunday, July 22, 2012


"Sometimes pain become such a huge part in your life that you always expect it to be there. You don't remember a time when it wasn't there. But the one day you feel something else, something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. and in that moment you realize you're happy."
 ~Lucas Scott-One tree Hill

(Michael, Shayla, Sofi and mom)

Hey you out there reading this, thank you for being witness to my life. When I decided to start this blog I wanted to write about myself, about my world, the good and the bad, to have an outlet, a public diary.  I guess I've written a small part of my life, the process of me getting healthier and I am getting healthier in so many ways, physically and now emotionally. Let me just tell you some of my history so that you can understand what I'm talking about. These past 4 years have been liberating but at the same time so painful. I made a decision that I don't regret because I did it for the safety of my loved ones, but sometimes life surprises you. I had to call child service on my own sister not because of her but because of her then boyfriend. He was physically, mentally and emotionally abusing my niece and nephews. My niece would come to my house and cry for me and my mother to help her. My older nephew had to leave the house at the age of 17 not yet out of high school. I really don't want to go into so many details because I'm trying to let the wounds heal, their almost there. They sent someone to their house and found enough to investigate them for months but they didn't find enough to have the man removed from the house (which was my intention not for the kids to go into the system). What happen was that my sister took away the kids from us, my mother and I had raise her kids with her and she shut us out. They were out of our world all of them and our world was shattered into little pieces. My older brother decided to take my sisters side after everything happened. That felt like a betrayal because before I called the DCF he said that we had to do anything to protect those kids. But some people just talk and take no actions. That night I lost a brother, a sister, 2 nieces and 2 nephews, and from then on it was just me and my mom. Four long years were lost without each others company. But I did gain some people and things in my life, my dog/daughter Sofi, my cousin Michelle, my own life. My own life, I didn't know what to do with it. Then there came a spark in the month of December 2011 a spark in the form of a book called Normal gets you nowhere by Kelly Cutrone. It gave me the small spark I needed to get my life started again, to get healthy, set goals, come out of my depression. I decided to move out of Tampa, Fl. work to find a career I love, surround myself with positive people that love me and to find someone to love and he to love me just the way I am, with flaws and all. Two months ago life thru me a curve ball my sister became ill and was hospitalised, we went to her side. The relationship is so fragile we started with baby steps, planting the seed and watering it hoping that it would grow, there is so much pain in our hearts. Today after 4 years my mother and I saw my niece Shayla and my nephew Michael, bliss, sunshine in our hearts. One step further into the healing journey. Yet there are still shattered pieces out there and I'm not sure if those I wanted to put back.....

(Me and Shayla)

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

4th of July

 I miss you : (

Today is the 4th of July and I wish I was somewhere at the beach cooking and eating BBQ, but I'm not. My dog had an operation yesterday so I preferred to stay home and monitor her.  Plus even though this is the 4th of July is my 4th day of juice fasting, no food for me : ( Anything to get healthier and this time I'm very much determine to succeed. I kept on waiting for something to happen, something to change like so many other people do, a miracle. I realised that I needed to change and I needed to take action to be able to receive a reaction. Any who today has been a better day than the past 3 days where my body craved every food I didn't know I even wanted. I can't deny that I'm hungry but I have been drinking enough juice and eating nuts in between meals, I think is mostly mental. I'm so looking forward to weighing myself on Sunday. I do have to admit that I feel better overall. The skin on my face is becoming clearer and I have more energy. The only way I can describe it is when you are very dirty, sweaty, and grimy you go ahead and take a cool shower and it feels so good to be clean again that's how my insides feel, lol. Well let me leave you because I need to eat my nuts : )


Monday, July 2, 2012

Day one...OMG

( I made chinese rice the day before yummy)

I woke up and my morning started kind of rocky, I over ate the day before(well the whole week lol) and took to many medication which my body didn't tolerate. Woke up felt the nausia coming but like a trooper went ahead and made my morning smoothy. I drank half a cup couldn't keep it down and the same thing happend when I tried to drink the rest. I ended up having my breakfast/lunch at almost 6pm. Then around 10pm I had my dinner, overall day not good. The reason why I say this is because I didn't have a consistant day of drinking juice and eating nuts I had to cheat, I made lipton soup. Just to make things real clear here I didn't get sick because of the juicing but because of my meds. My program should consist of drinking min. 3-4 and inbetween eat nuts for snacks and I'm adding tea. But I am optimistic that tomorrow will be a better and brighter day. I also want to start meditating but that will have to wait until my body is some what adjusted to its new routine. Anywho I weigh myself and I'm currently at 191lbs, I still need to measure myself. I took the before pictures but those I won't show until the 60 days are up. I also took pictures of my face without makeup to see the difference in skin and how doing this better it.

(all the bad foods were thrown away, I will miss you not really, lol)

(healthy fridge: veggies, fruits, drinking and mineral water)

Ok well of to bed since I have to wake up early and take my doggie Sofi to the vet because she got into to the cactus and her face is swollen. Two years renting this house and the month we leave she gets hurts by the cactus, like the song says isn't it ironic don't you think, lol.